Okay, I'll admit I'm slightly obsessive. I tend to get an idea in my head and run off on my own and just do it. I get excited. Carried away.
Sometimes, I'll admit, that's a bad thing - it's not helpful in the work environment at times, especially not when attempting to work in a team situation. I haven't done a lot of self reflection in the last couple of years, but lately I'm finding I've been forced to. The master class, the experiments I'm running with my classes, assessing just where I've found my life has brought me...and the list goes on.
Why do we avoid self reflection? I mean every day we make decisions about every action in our lives - what to eat, when to sleep, how much effort to make, who to talk to, who to dismiss, what to absorb and what to ignore. If we avoid self reflection because we're scared we won't like what we see, then why is that a surprise? Shouldn't we already know what we're going to see?
For me I think it's a case of I really, honestly don't pay close enough attention to things as they happen - I'm not as aware of my own life as I should be. Which then raises my next question for a Friday night involving a movie, chocolate and chai - How do we stay connected with our own lives when we are forced to connect into others?
As a friend, wife and teacher (not to mention sister and daughter) I am constantly responsible for considering other peoples' feelings, needs and desires. Where am I supposed to find the time to pay close attention to my decisions when if I turn my back Student X will undoubtedly have Student Y's equipment and be throwing it across the room at Student A who will then probably hit someone? But if I don't pay attention to my decisions what happens if I end up somewhere I didn't want to go? Kind of like missing my station on a train. Except it's not as easy to get back to the place I was meant to be.
As usual I am rambling here - but then that's why I write here. To ramble and put my thoughts out there.